The Unborn: a review.

so i went to go see the unborn on friday

and i’ve got to say i had some high hopes for it. it had upside down dog faces in the trailer and the poster had a girls butt on it so we assumed there would be some titties. we assumed wrong. basically a chick has like a twin and it wants to kill her and i think take her body or something? ok so here are some pros and cons (mostly cons)

for the pro side

1. it had commisoner gordon in it sans mustache and that was pretty cool i guess.

2. like i mentioned before, it had crazy upside down dog heads. also at one point they put a people mask on an english bulldog which wasnt so much scary as it was offputting. what im trying to say here is i am going to get one and put it on my brothers dog and then make her sit in a darkened hallway.

3. it had a poor mans megan fox in it, which i guess could also go in the con pile but i think this pile needs all it can get

4. it had the obligitory sassy black girl in it, which i found comforting.


1.  it had the bad axl rose looking vampire from twilight in it and it took me like 40 minutes to figure out where i saw him from before so it really threw me off my game. oh and at one point he was wearing tighty whities and it was really awkward because i could tell they wanted it to be sexy for the ladies but it was just weird because i was all “you had a ponytail in twilight, do not want. ”

2. not enough freaky upside down heads in it.

3. there was no opening credits at all which really upset me for reasons im not quite sure of even now. what if i wanted to know who the costume designer was? im not waiting through the credits mister. also what if you forgot the title of the movie during the really long ads? i wouldnt be able to enjoy it not quite knowing if i was watching the unborn or marley and me

ok also, Spoiler alert here, but josef mengele was in it which really confused me, apparently he like did experiments on these twins and one died and came back as an evil ghost or some shit and the broad in the movies great gramma killed him or something? i couldnt really focus after they dropped the mengele bomb. mainly because a friend of mine has a band and they used to be called mengele but everyone thought they were anti-semites or that it was called man jelly so they changed it. so anyways possibly rent this or watch it online, but like if its playing at a party you’re at watch it and only leave when you need to pee or get a new beer. i give it 13/20, it loses points for not having tits.


3 Responses to “The Unborn: a review.”

  1. 1 Carmen January 14, 2009 at 10:16 pm

    Is it just me or does anyone else find it odd that the unborn twin manifests in a strange age – he should either be the age he was when he was still born (like a scary fetus) or her age, but what’s this in between crap??

  2. 2 Carmen January 14, 2009 at 10:17 pm

    Okay, a double up on the same theme due to the fact I didn’t realise my response had to be moderated – I thought it got lost in cyber void so I resubmitted.

  3. 3 bri January 15, 2009 at 11:56 pm

    you are amazing. way to get started on this right away.. i shall share it with all i know.

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