go to hell american apparel

not pictured: dignity

not pictured: dignity

you know what i love more then anything? plain t shirts with nothing on them. you know what i love even more? paying 10 fucking dollars for them because thats all they’re worth. fuck you american apparel im not paying 40 fucking bucks for a plain v neck shirt so i can go around telling people i paid 40 fucking bucks for one of your t shirts. wanna pay 15 bucks for a single pair of underwear? american apparel has your back.

the salespeople at american apparel should pretty much say “hey, thanks for shopping here, oh and fuck you asshole!” because i feel like thats what they’re thinking as they charge people 70 dollars for 2 tank tops. and you know what pisses me off more then this store? people that shop exclusively at it because holy shit, american apparel must have figured out the best way to make cotton t shirts to warrant your unwavering loyalty to a store who found out the best way to manipulate brand elitists.

its like oh its cool to shop at this store that sells basic pieces you can pick up anywhere,  but just sort of bring it up innocently in conversation, “oh this? you like this plain purple t shirt? i got it at american apparel, not wal mart like your plain purple t shirt…” even though you paid out the ass for the fucking thing.  you fucking want people to know you shop there you pricks. but people wouldnt buy shirts from there if they said “THIS IS AN AMERICAN APPAREL SHIRT!!!” all over the front, they want to be brand slaves but in a sort of unsung hero sort of way. if you compliment someone on a shirt and it happens to be american apparel they will always tell you this without being prompted because they want to know deep down inside they didnt pay a 1000% mark up for no reason.

no thanks, i can look at my own nipples.

soo. showered lately?

and this store has the gaudiest clothes ever, like metallic onesies and gold hotpants, i once walked by this store with my boyfriend and he hadnt ever heard of it before and he judged by the store window display that it was a costume shop. that is a true story. theres always some asshole coming out of these stores with a fucking fanny pack worn “ironically” or glasses with no goddamn lenses in them.

fake lenses deserve real beatings

fake lenses deserve real beatings

and i guess the owner of this company is a huge tool who routinely sexually harasses employess and is just a huge mess, well good for him. hes a douche. when he goes home at night he takes of his ironic mickey mouse shirt from 1982 and his gold members only jacket and puts on sweatpants and a budweiser shirt and watches 2 and a half men while farting into his lazyboy recliner, because hes not one of you, hes just a douchey guy. the reason hes such an asshole to his company and employees is because he knows he has all you pricks by the balls. as long as american apparel stays cool, but not cool enough that its mainstream, cool in an independant way, he knows you assholes will pay whatever he tells you to pay. the second one of these shirts ends up on britney spears though, he knows it will be over and he will probably go on a shooting rampage. at least i hope so.

oh and fuck you the most for trying to bring back the scrunchie american apparel. fuck you. theres a reason no one wears those any more and a reason no one wears metallic silver onesies anymore, they look fucking dumb as shit. go to hell.

get the hell out of my office.

get the hell out of my office.

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6 Responses to “go to hell american apparel”


  1. 1 brianne sheppard March 4, 2009 at 2:15 am

    i own a red american apparel shirt. i don’
    t wear it though because inmates wear red and i start feeling really awkward as soon as its on.

  2. 2 ian March 4, 2009 at 7:30 am

    my favourite part was when i briefly puzzled over how you got a picture of me before i cut my hair. yes, i own that shirt…

  3. 3 Ashli March 4, 2009 at 11:24 pm

    heeey, i have the gold pants.
    I GOT THEM AT AMERICAN APPAREL!!!!!!!!

  4. 4 erin March 5, 2009 at 12:42 am

    RIGBY:
    You are so dead on. It is so trendy to shop at american apparel.
    BUT… Remember the days when ALL girl t-shirts were terrible? like, every band you went to go see, etc, you could never buy a band t-shirt because the girl shirts ALWAYS sucked. Warped tour 07, I ended up with was this Blink 182 shirt because it was the one made by american apparel.
    Yes I totally prefer a soft, perfectly fit $40 t-shirt to a $10 froot of the loom scratchy, doesn’t fit very well t.
    American apparel made girl-t’s possible.

  5. 5 My Bobby Bob Bob March 7, 2009 at 9:23 pm

    Fuck. I want to punch every douche who wears fake lenses in the eyes, hoping to break said lenses into the persons eyeballs.

    Also, I admit, I have a lot of clothes from American Apparel, but it’s just plain crap that I COULD buy somewhere else, but purchased out of social consciousness.

    But I swear to baby lord Jesus, if I see one more fake hipster douche in some outfit that has like, three different colours of neon on it and weird tin foil pants out to the bar, but would never wear them on any other day: facepush.

    PS. You WOULD have gold pants from AA.

  6. 6 Morgan Stanley April 12, 2009 at 5:53 am

    Hi, why are you so angry?
    American Apparel supports over 10,000 employees with health insurance and great wages.

    American Apparel gives back to the community in a big way.

    Please come to UNLV on April 28th …American Apparel is taking there Factory Flea Market on the road to a the University of LAas Vegas and hopefully a University near U to offer the samples and one of kind pieces starting at 2 bucks. LIFE IS NOT ALWAYS ABOUT THE MONEY……
    Morgan


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