you know what i love more then anything? plain t shirts with nothing on them. you know what i love even more? paying 10 fucking dollars for them because thats all they’re worth. fuck you american apparel im not paying 40 fucking bucks for a plain v neck shirt so i can go around telling people i paid 40 fucking bucks for one of your t shirts. wanna pay 15 bucks for a single pair of underwear? american apparel has your back.
the salespeople at american apparel should pretty much say “hey, thanks for shopping here, oh and fuck you asshole!” because i feel like thats what they’re thinking as they charge people 70 dollars for 2 tank tops. and you know what pisses me off more then this store? people that shop exclusively at it because holy shit, american apparel must have figured out the best way to make cotton t shirts to warrant your unwavering loyalty to a store who found out the best way to manipulate brand elitists.
its like oh its cool to shop at this store that sells basic pieces you can pick up anywhere, but just sort of bring it up innocently in conversation, “oh this? you like this plain purple t shirt? i got it at american apparel, not wal mart like your plain purple t shirt…” even though you paid out the ass for the fucking thing. you fucking want people to know you shop there you pricks. but people wouldnt buy shirts from there if they said “THIS IS AN AMERICAN APPAREL SHIRT!!!” all over the front, they want to be brand slaves but in a sort of unsung hero sort of way. if you compliment someone on a shirt and it happens to be american apparel they will always tell you this without being prompted because they want to know deep down inside they didnt pay a 1000% mark up for no reason.
and this store has the gaudiest clothes ever, like metallic onesies and gold hotpants, i once walked by this store with my boyfriend and he hadnt ever heard of it before and he judged by the store window display that it was a costume shop. that is a true story. theres always some asshole coming out of these stores with a fucking fanny pack worn “ironically” or glasses with no goddamn lenses in them.
and i guess the owner of this company is a huge tool who routinely sexually harasses employess and is just a huge mess, well good for him. hes a douche. when he goes home at night he takes of his ironic mickey mouse shirt from 1982 and his gold members only jacket and puts on sweatpants and a budweiser shirt and watches 2 and a half men while farting into his lazyboy recliner, because hes not one of you, hes just a douchey guy. the reason hes such an asshole to his company and employees is because he knows he has all you pricks by the balls. as long as american apparel stays cool, but not cool enough that its mainstream, cool in an independant way, he knows you assholes will pay whatever he tells you to pay. the second one of these shirts ends up on britney spears though, he knows it will be over and he will probably go on a shooting rampage. at least i hope so.
oh and fuck you the most for trying to bring back the scrunchie american apparel. fuck you. theres a reason no one wears those any more and a reason no one wears metallic silver onesies anymore, they look fucking dumb as shit. go to hell.