gay marriage: Give’r

I’m serious you guys, just give’r.

you guys are going to look so stupid when you get to heaven and see god and heath hanging out drinking pina coladas

you guys are going to look so stupid when you get to heaven and see god and heath hanging out drinking pina coladas

I don’t want to get all “political” or “opinionated” or “use quotation marks inappropriately” on you guys, but seriously, this issue pisses me off so much.

I don’t get it. why the funk is it such a big deal for homosexuals to get married? I’m looking in your direction organized religion.

People can get married and divorced like 7 times in a year and its apparently ok as long as one has a penis and one doesn’t. whats that about? If gay people want to get married just let them goddamn do it. It’s not like telling them they can’t get married is going to make them all stop being gay.

“can’t get married? fuck. well I guess I better go find a vagina to look at”

yea not going to happen so just give it up. I for one would love to go to a gay wedding, I think it would be really fun. If its a lesbian wedding you and your date can take bets on which one will be wearing pants. and if it’s two dudes tying the knot you better believe there is going to be some amazing spinach dip as well as lots of gay men calling you fab. Who doesn’t want that? total squares, that’s who.

If you are going to make gay marriage illegal then you should make divorces illegal as well because I’m pretty sure Jesus and pals frown upon that as well. Now my knowledge of the bible goes as far as I check if there’s one in the motel every time I’m in one for some reason, but I know it frowns on alot of stuff that people do all the time anyways, so why does this one matter so much?

oh no! it's god..and he looks so pissed off you guys

oh no! it's god..and he looks so pissed off you guys

I hope that the first person that disapproved and rallied against gay marriages had their family murdered by a gay married couple or something, and now is hell bent on revenge like some sort of prejudice batman because that is the only acceptable reason I can think of.

wow, this joke writes itself. goodnight everyone!

wow, this joke writes itself. goodnight everyone!

People get married all the time in Vegas when they’re wasted and get it annulled like 48 hours later and we all have a good laugh about it, but if two chicks get married and live out their lives happily its like the worst thing ever. Have you seen these commercials about the “gathering storm” of gay people? well here it is ya bums. Enjoy! also this is 100% real.

So in conclusion, homosexuals are to blame for any major weather disaster. thats about all I got out of it. They might also be responsible for the first terminator machine becoming self aware, but I’ll have to look more into that. But here are some facts i did learn from this video:

  • i thought it was an allergy commercial for the first 10 seconds
  • that girl in the red shirt is hideous
  • the rainbow coalition is a hilariously ironic name for an anti gay organization
  • the budget was roughly 68 dollars

Seriously though, did you guys watch that video? who made this and thought it was a good idea. Plus…Rainbow Coalition? Really?

“Hey so I hate gay people AND I hate storms, lets combine the two of those…oh and throw in a black guy so maybe we can get some of “those people” on our side…yea I said “those people” I hate gay people, what do you expect? oh and try to get someone Puerto Rican or some shit in there too. now I’m off to beat my wife!”

"hey and someone stomp on that dog if you have time"

"hey and someone stomp on that dog if you have time"

Oh and by the way lady doctor in the ad, maybe you should spend less time hating on gay people and more time working off those saddlebags of yours. I’m just saying.98% of the people in that commercial own Nazi paraphernalia. FACT.

How are gay people going to take away your freedom? I honestly think these people believe that if gay people get married all the heterosexuals will be rounded up and shot execution style by the new gay world order, thus making way for a new world full of Pekinese dog shows and Tegan and Sara concerts being broadcast around the clock.

i also assume the leather chaps market will thrive.

i also assume the leather chaps market will thrive.

But honestly, when it comes down to it, why does it matter if people have a piece of paper saying they’re married? they’re going to be living together and acting like a married couple anyways so just give them the piece of mind that they have the same rights as any other married couple. Don’t be such dickheads.

yes please!

how could you hate Sulu? HOW?


5 Responses to “gay marriage: Give’r”

  1. 1 ashli May 9, 2009 at 10:24 am

    I had to write a huge paper on this for my final english project, and I ended up getting a super bad mark on it just because I couldn’t write more than 3 pages on it.
    The reason was that by the third page I was enraged at having to prove why two gay people in love should have the same rights as everyone else, and it basically started turning into an angry rant about how people who are against gay marriage are fucking idiots.

  2. 2 Sailer May 9, 2009 at 10:44 am

    Did you seriously just type “portirican” instead of “Puerto Rican?” I can’t believe what I just saw.

    • 3 rigsamarole May 9, 2009 at 11:18 am

      look, it was late, i forgot to spell check, and my bagel was getting cold. what do you want from me?

  3. 4 Greg May 11, 2009 at 11:55 am

    so let me get this straight (no pun intended)…
    when the dude with the broken english says “a storm…is…coming” is he really just venting his virginal frustration in the sense that a storm may be coming…but he definitely is not?

  4. 5 Sailer May 13, 2009 at 5:29 pm

    Woah woah woah… did that guy say they’re a “rainbow coalition?”

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