Well for some reason I decided to clean out my closet today and let me tell you I found some troubling things, including but not limited to:
– A Mark Wahlberg action figure from planet of the apes that I have no memory of either purchasing or ever owning
– A glossy 8×10 of Brian Littrell from Backstreet Boys fame
– A bookmark with a picture of a Lamborghini on it
– A list of boys I had crushes on but only their initials so I have no clue who the hell I was talking about
And most importantly: a book from 1991 that is apparently some sort of journal I had to do for school chronicling my daily news events. Did I mention there is also pictures accompanying the terribly spelled entries? because there is. And guess what? I’m going to scan them and show them to you guys so we can try and make some sense of them together…as a family, an internet family. So lets get started shall we?
Apparently, I found a ded mous somewhere along my travels. This mouse was also laying in the fetal position I guess. I have no memory of ever seeing a dead mouse which leads me to believe I was a filthy liar or I drank away my memories of 1991-1992.
I really hope the teacher didn’t put me on some sort possible future serial killer list because of this, but if I opened a kid’s journal and this was literally the first thing on the first page I would be a bit concerned. Let’s move on shall we?
Well here apparently I was trying to say that I gotten bitten by my cat Charlie. I chose to illustrate this point further by drawing a picture of myself wearing purple pants dancing with an insane looking, gigantic brown cat even though my cat Charlie was black and white.
Also I don’t know if you guys can read that but instead of writing Charlie I wrote “clebecos” I have no idea who or what that is supposed to be but my teacher assumed I meant charlie and wrote it in above clebecos. I cannot stop laughing at the word clebecos. Side note-how amazing would that name be for a cat?
Wow. So uhh. again, my teacher must have been concerned for my mental state. I don’t really know what to say about this other then how scared/super excited does that dude look? if you cant read it, it’s supposed to say “a boa is trying to get a person” kudos to me for being able to spell boa correctly but not person.
Also a big up to my teacher who somehow understood that the word “chron” meant trying. Oh and if you’re wondering why my writing is backwards sometimes it’s because I’m left handed so when I was little I would start writing at the end of the page and work backwards. Apparently that was easier? Goddamnit little Rigby.
hahaha Wow. I had to read this several times to understand that it’s a drawing of me getting a flu shot. At first I thought it was a drawing of me getting stabbed by someone and I was bewildered as to when this might have occurred. My teacher didn’t put any marks on this one so I have a feeling she either wasn’t paying attention so she just put a check mark on it or she decided to turn a blind eye to the fact that one of her students might be getting stabbed routinely by a smiling man in a purple shirt.
I love the face I drew for myself. It’s like the stereotypical angry squiggle face. I also enjoy how we are wearing identical outfits, I was probably pretty bitter about the content of this journal entry so i didn’t want to put too much effort into it.
This entry is the cream of the crop from this journal, mainly because I drew a fucking creepy picture of The Terminator. Why did my parents let me watch The Terminator 2 in 1992? I was like 6 years old. haha wow. I just can’t get over this. I remember distinctly watching this movie and almost shitting my pants when T-2000 stabs that guy through the milk carton he was drinking out of. I blame me watching this movie at a young age as the reason I couldn’t accept John Dogget on The X-files. He will always be that evil sentient robot to me. Plus he was replacing my one true love, Mulder and that shit don’t fly with me.
I really like the comment my teacher put on my page, it’s clearly meant for my parents to see so they can feel ashamed they let their only daughter watch this movie at such a tender age. I would love to see my teachers reaction to this when she saw it haha fuck. But despite that, I would say it’s a pretty solid drawing. You can really tell where the robot ends and the bright pink fleshed man begins.
After my mom read this she vehemently denies ever letting me watch terminator 2, or “trmanadras 2” as I so eloquently put in my journal. Since my mom is pretty rad, I’m going to have to take her word for it and assume I watched it at some other unsavory household. She was also shocked and appalled to think that my grade one teacher thought her and my Dad were terrible parents.
This one is just really depressing. It says “I got a barnacle and I like it” I guess I didn’t like it enough to give it more space on the page. Is that a barnacle or a fallen tree trunk with assholes on top of it? Jesus Christ. And it looks like I drew a foot or something on the right of it? what was I thinking. I must have been pissed that all that happened to me all week was that I found a barnacle somehow.
Maybe I was planning on drawing an elaborate seascape in the background but I got distracted by the new Teddy Ruxpin or Babar episode on TV.
So there ya have it, what a weirdo Iwas. Believe me there is much more of this journal but that’s about all I can stomach for now of my terrible journal. I’ll probably scan some more later if you guys would enjoy laughing at my shitty drawings some more. and something tells me you would.