so i have been dying of allergies/getting drunk because a bunch of my friends graded uni hence my lack of updates. but! i am back ready to service your hilarity needs. or…sexual? we’ll talk later.so here are some more amazing psas that either haunted your childhood or made you afraid of crack cocaine. enjoy!
1. i learned it from watching you!
well this one was just finishing airing as i was a young grasshopper, but its still worth talking about mainly because of that mustache, i mean, check that shit out!
now the thing i don’t get about this commercial is if the kid learned it from watching the dad then why is the dad harshing his mellow? lay off you narc. oh and once you see this commercial once when the dad is demanding where he got the pot from it gives you the feeling he is just wondering who his dealer is/if its in fact his pot the kid is smoking.
and another thing, if the kid learned it from watching him that means the father is either A) blatantly smoking pot out in the open (awesome) or B) smoking it in secret but his creepy ass kid is routinely spying on him in his private moments (utterly terrifying)
either way, no matter how terrible this father/son relationship becomes due to rampant drug use, the only thing i really learned is that mustaches are amazing.
2. the syringe
now this one is an old favorite and a friend of mine suggested i put this badboy in here, and it has all the elements of a classic psa: vaguely confusing message, ominous music, creepy voice over.
now i remember watching this as a kid and i wasn’t really sure what was going on, all i knew is that i didn’t want that mouse to step in that glass. i also honestly thought that people injected dirty puddle water into themselves to get high, which i think might work if you did it from those puddles that have that oily sheen on them but i assume you would die painfully shortly after.
anyways, i guess what they’re trying to convey here is that your life will go down the drain if you do drugs? oh but then maybe the mouse should have died in the drain because isn’t it a good thing if the broken syringe gets washed away? SYMBOLISM IS CONFUSING. fuckit, i need a drink.
3. the racoons
ok, this one pissed me off to no end when i was little and i don’t really know why. possibly because this asshole woman has a real holier-then-thou attitude, or possibly because that is hands down the shittiest book about racoons i have ever laid eyes on.
really all i learned from this is to not eat random berries and mushrooms. why the fuck was there so much emphasise on kids not shoving random shit in their mouths? ive seen kids put cat hair in their mouths, its not a fucking big deal. put your godamn vicodine on your top shelf of the medicine cabinet/to me, its not rocket science. ugh. also, way to give that baby racoon a gigantic apple to eat without cutting it up you shitty racoon mom. what the hell was wrong with those berries?
4. the brain
alright you guys HAVE to remember this one. for some reason this scared the piss out of me and i think it was probably because i was afraid of having a weird wire cyborg brain and not that if i smoked meth enough i wouldn’t be able to remember my phone number.
this is a pretty simple ad but it was really effective and oh man, when they zoom out at the end and that brain is all effed up! ahhhh. also the fact that the narrator is really intense probably helps. i think if i was her i would use that i did the voice for this commercial as my big claim to fame, i would order pizzas in that voice and whatnot, it would probably land me an attractive and/or rich husband. anyways, where was i? oh right, don’t smoke crack.
5. the copycat
haha oh man this one is retarded. i don’t get it. so the mom likes to party? i think she earned it after carrying your dead weight around for 9 months you little shit. when i was little really the only thing i got from this ad was that i desperately wanted a pair of heart shaped sunglasses.
kids do copy everything you say which is glaringly evident to me everytime my nephew says fuck. oh its hilarious don’t get me wrong, but i think “society” and “social workers” generally frown on that sort of activity. but i mean, what the hell? so as soon as your a mom you cant do shots and smoke? fuck that. i mean you should probably wait until your kids asleep to really hit the bottle but my parents drank infront of me all the time. when i have a kid i know i’ll have to have a few just to get through the asinine kids tv shows.
this commercial is way too hard on the parents unless its sort of like “hey, your kids are watching, don’t do that body shot off your bisexual friend trixie”i could understand if they used the same commercial but for beating your wife instead haah oh that would be precious, and the kid could be slapping the shit out of her teddy bears while shouting “YOU TELL YOUR FRIENDS YOU FELL YOU HEAR ME? YOU FELL”
so in conclusion, let me babysit your kids.
6. drugs, drugs, drugs
im really sorry for getting this stuck in your head all day. now that that’s out of the way, how fucking annoying is this commercial? i think it might have only aired in Canada so i guess thats one thing the US has over us.
i think this is totally pointless and it doesn’t teach kids anything other then to change the channel as quickly as possible once that girls face pops up. even at a young age i would like to think i could tell the difference between medicine given to me by a competent adult then medicine given to me by an unruly man in an alley that is constantly scratching his arms. basically, if its given to you in an orange container that has a label with your name on it, its the right situation. if its handed to you in a soiled paper bag by a man with 3 dead fingernails you are probably about to die.
i don’t remember my parents ever telling me not to eat medicine on my own or anything like that but i think my instincts kicked in and i just knew not to eat food i wasn’t familiar with. that and those child proof lids are a real bitch to open.
7. those fucking mice.
fuck. FUCK. FUCK. i hate this commercial. the only practical use i could see for this commercial is for people who are about to be victims in the assorted saw movies – if theres a rusted weird metal contraption laying on the floor dont touch it or you will get your arm ripped off and the movie going public will have to suffer through saw 12.
first of all, i love it when the mouse asks his friend if he can keep a secret and hes just like “maybe” hahaha awesome. they should just lure a really annoying mouse they both hate in their and make him stick his head in that trap. they get the cheese and destroy an annoying companion all in one go. you can just say it was an accident mice, no one will ever know. no one.
in conclusion who the hell is uncle fred?