If your tattoo is in this post, im embarrassed for the both of us

So a lot of people have tattoos, most of them are well thought out and have a personal meaning behind them. Some are not. Some are horrible monuments to whatever the hell was popular the year you got it.  Now I’m not saying all media inspired tattoos are awful, some of them are really clever and well done, but 98% of them are fucking terrible. So lets check those train wrecks out shall we?

Harry Potter Tattoos

Harry Potter is all over the damn place and I can understand why someone would get a tattoo to remember it by…or you could read the books or re watch the movies. Either way, lets look at some ugly tattoos inspired by a British wizard

you can't escape that shoulder no matter how hard you fly potter

you can't escape that shoulder no matter how hard you fly Potter

Wow so uhh. Here we have Harry on his broomstick trying to catch that flying ball in the upper corner/waiting for someone to high five him back. Yikes. I guess this isn’t so bad, but I mean. Come on. The look on his face is amazing it’s like he knows he’s a poorly drawn wizard with one small left foot giving a highfive to no one. Me thinks the owner of the tattoo receives little to no high fives themselves.

GAH WHAT THE HELL IS THAT

GAH WHAT THE HELL IS THAT...oh I see, its a free elf. thanks tattoo!

First of all, that thing is an elf named Dobby that I think lived with Harry? he was a servant and washed his socks and shit and Harry was pretty nice to him as I recall. I also recall thinking it was poorly veiled racism, but that’s for another time.I guess whoever got this tattoo really, really liked Dobby. I mean, REALLY liked Dobby.  I also get the feeling that the tattoo artist just said “fuckit, I’m just going to draw a pale Yoda” halfway through.

Of all the minor characters in this book series to like, you had to choose this one? why not get a tattoo of the owl then at least in 6 years you can claim you just really like owls/Rush album covers

awesome, totally awesome

awesome, totally awesome

Anyways, what I really like most about this tattoo is the look on the elfs face. Look at that shit eating grin. He looks like he just made out with your sister after eating all the KFC you had left in the fridge and he just doesn’t give a shit. So deal with it.

well...it sure has...a lot of colours...so...good job

well...it sure has...a lot of colours...so...good job?

Holy shit this is the creme de la creme of Harry Potter tattoos, are you guys seeing this thing? the gangs all there and they sure do look beat to hell. You can’t even pull this off like you loved the books or anything because you just straight up got a tattoo of a guy in a play about having sex with horses, a girl who got hot last year, and a red headed kid. You know what would be amazing? if this person got their tattoo altered depending on their haircuts in the new movie

“No you idiot! Harry has a shag this year! FIX IT!”

I also can’t get over how much the red headed kid looks like a zombie, look at him back there with his dead eyes,  lurching forward trying to get some of that Potter brain.  Hermoine looks straight up pissed off so I’m not sure if that was the look he was going for. To be fair,  that’s probably the look hes most accustomed to receiving from pretty women.

Twilight Tattoos

I’m going to level with you guys, I could make this entire post about twilight tattoos for the amount that I have seen, 68% are just of hands holding apples, but still, you get the point.

oh jesus god no

oh Jesus god no

See if she just left the crest that said Cullen, she might, might, have been able to claim years down the road it was her family crest, but that tattoo that proclaims “twilighter” really seals the deal for her. And that deal is being mocked whenever she is wearing a bikini.

I don’t fully understand why she would put twilighter though. Is that a thing? is it like being a trekkie? I’ve never heard that term before. I also like how she put the main characters names underneath just in case the giant tattoo that says twilighter above them wont let complete strangers know what shes on about

“umm, see Edward and Bella underneath it? that means I love Twilight the books, not Twilight as in the time between daylight and nighttime. DUH! you are so stupid Ken and you aren’t my real dad!”

See, I put in the situation with the step-dad Ken but after seeing this tattoo it isn’t that hard to think of that conversation as reality.

ARGHHH

ARGHHH

Now, I double checked my sources on this one (i.e.-Google) and I guess this is a legit tattoo honoring Twilight, this is a quote from the book but I couldn’t tell you by who or in what situation because I don’t want to go through all the books and find out so just take my word for it OK? OK?

Anyways, Twilight quote or not, why did this person find it necessary to border said quote with lines of red gashes? this person must get approached at least 3 times a day by strangers telling her she is bleeding profusely from the arm. How fucking dumb do you have to be?I mean, yea OK sure the quote is innocent enough but  the huge red scratches? I thought this was a monument to self cutting at first glance. Good lord.

pete wentz holding an apple?

Pete Wentz holding an apple?

hahahahahaha Wow. Just. Wow. In no capacity whatsoever does that remotely resemble Robert Pattinson. If he has a half retarded brother with a mad case of googly eyes and a faux hawk we don’t know about, now is the time for him to bring it up because this girl has a tattoo of him on her arm. Good grief. I don’t know who to blame more, the tattoo artist or the person paying for this monstrosity. It cant be that fucking hard to tattoo a guy on someone, he has a nose, two eyes and a friggin head, its not rocket science here. Unless that’s what the girl was going for

“Just make him look as unpleased and distant as you can possibly get, here, I have a picture of my dad when I told him I was getting this tattoo, just copy his facial expression”

I guess his hands look OK though so there’s a positive.

X-Files tattoos

Are you noticing a theme here? it’s because all of these franchises have huge amount of fans and over half of them are completely insane, therefore produce the best (????)  tattoos. So lets check out some tats from the early 90’s

grandpa?

Grandpa?

In the thumbnail for this badboy I thought it was an old man, on closer inspection it seems to be David Duchovny age 67. I actually said “oh Jesus” out loud when I made this discovery, and you know how seriously I take Jesus so that means a lot.

Where do we begin? first of all, look how sad Fox Mulder looks. Just gaze into its eyes for 30 seconds and tell me if you don’t have an overwhelming urge to call your parents just to tell them you love them. Also, check out that 5-head. His hair looks pretty OK though and I think it takes the focus away from his ninja turtle-esque hands. Would it kill you to add another finger in there? would it?

are you kidding me with this

Are you kidding me with this

I guess this tattoo features that long forgotten episode where Scully becomes a porn star with square tits and Mulder grows one weird green hand. This thing is just totally off the wall and it pains me to look at it. Tattoos like this make me wish T could see the actors reaction if they were ever confronted with it. I’m hoping that upon viewing, Gillian Anderson would immediately develop a complex where she thinks her head is too big for her body.

When on earth did you ever think this would be a good idea? the person with this tattoo should have talked to the guy with the old Mulder tattoo and maybe formed some sort of suicide pact or something. Really anything would be OK as long as my eyes were spared this sort of ocular raping.

mxs? what the hell

mxs? what the hell

Two thoughts went through my mind when I saw this, the first being “oh gross, it’s on someones heel” and the second being “what does the M and S for” then after staring at it for a good 30 seconds I realized I was a total dumbass and it is in fact not a tribute to multiple sclerosis or Marge Simpson, but Mulder and Scully. you would think if you have a giant X files style X on your body the Mulder and Scully connection would be implied but I guess not.

Also, this is what 80% of X files tattoos consist of. an unsightly black X. either that or “I want to believe” or a deadly combo of both. I say deadly combo because good luck with the casual sex if you have a giant X on your back.

well that’s about all I can handle at the moment but there are shittons more awful tattoos on the internet and you should head over to http://www.loltatz.com for some more if I’m not good enough for you.

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3 Responses to “If your tattoo is in this post, im embarrassed for the both of us”


  1. 1 Bryant June 30, 2009 at 6:05 am

    so, you’re re-thinking your supernatural tattoo/branding I hope

  2. 3 the gili islands September 7, 2012 at 11:49 am

    Thank you for the good writeup. It in fact used to be a entertainment account it. Glance advanced to far brought agreeable from you! By the way, how could we keep in touch?


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