Mr. Roboto: The greatest song ever made

I know what you’re thinking everyone: “wow, its so true! Mr. Roboto is the greatest song ever made, how did i not think of this sooner??” well its because I’m better then you.  but don’t despair, i thought long and hard about this decision. It’s true though. Mr. Roboto is the greatest song ever made. how did i come to this conclusion? uhh have you heard Mr.Roboto? i rest my case.

what percent of this isn't awesome? answer: nothing. that doesnt even make sense but its still AWESOME

what percent of this isn't awesome? answer: nothing. that doesnt even make sense but its still AWESOME

First of all, if logical were to at all dictate, this song should have been a complete and utter career destroyer,  like an efficient musical assassin that uses extended synthesizer solos as its bullets. But for some odd reason this song was a huge hit. Picture this scene: it is 1983 and you are driving to the bank in your AMC Pacer, when all of a sudden your ears are bombarded by the odd sound of Dennis De Young repeating a Japanese phrase over and over again. is your mind blown? yes. yes it is. are you confused as to why this is played on mainstream radio? yes, yes you are. congratulations, you just heard Mr.Roboto for the first time

"hey any ladies out there want to hear us sing about robots? ahh yeaaa"

"hey any ladies out there want to hear us sing about robots? ahh yeaaa"

this song makes little to no sense and i would love to be in the studio when they recorded this fucking thing. here is the description of what the song is about from the most reputable website i know, wikipedia.

The song tells part of the fictitious story of Robert Orin Charles Kilroy (ROCK). The song is performed by Kilroy, a rock and roll performer who was placed in a futuristic prison for “rock and roll misfits” by the anti-rock-and-roll group the Majority for Musical Morality (MMM) and its founder Dr. Everett Righteous. The Roboto is a model of robot which does menial jobs in the prison. Kilroy escapes the prison by overtaking a Roboto prison guard and hiding inside the emptied-out metal shell.

HOLY SHIT THIS GUY IS AWESOME

HOLY SHIT THIS GUY IS AWESOME

are you still asking me why this is the greatest song ever made? lets review:

-its a song about a robotic inmate in a futuristic prison

-his name is not only an acronym, but its a totally badass one

-hes in jail for essentially being TOO FUCKING ROCK AND ROLL

this song is a goddamn masterpiece. fuck beowulf, they should be teaching this in highschool english.

guess what these kids just learned about? I'll give you a hint: FUCKIN MR ROBOTO

guess what these kids just learned about? I'll give you a hint: FUCKIN MR ROBOTO

Another one of the reasons i love this song is my personal reaction to hearing it. I almost immediately launch into a spaztic robot dance that involves a lot of jerking arm and leg movements. as the song really hits its peak my arm jabbing becomes more intense and i scream DOMO ARIGATO as much as possible. there are two things everyone should see in their life: the northern lights and Rigby dancing to Mr.Roboto. Even if i’m driving the fury of my dance cannot be contained, although its is a lot more subdued since i don’t want a vehicular manslaughter charge.

"Goddamn you Mr. Roboto...oh i can't stay mad at you, who am i kidding"

"Goddamn you Mr. Roboto...oh i can't stay mad at you, who am i kidding"

Ok, now onto the music video.

well, uh, it sucks to be honest. it’s just terrible. so i guess this was a little anti climatic. shit. well on the plus side it has a lot of smoke and close ups on robot faces. really, really creepy robot faces but robot faces nonetheless.

AHH! jesus christ, don't pop up on me like that

AHH! jesus christ, don't pop up on me like that

So in conclusion we learned that Mr. Roboto is infact the greatest song ever made. Possibly second only to Bohemian Rhapsody and Surfing Bird.

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