Holy crow i hate this guy. so much that i had to resort to using such foul language as holy crow (sorry jesus and mom) anyways if you think this guy is funny you have two choices:
1. Kill yourself
2. Move to the heartland of the united states to be with the rest of your kind
Puppetry is fucking gay and not funny at all. Unless you’re Sherry Lewis. I will make an exception there because we all love Lambchop and the song that never ends, Also Hushpuppy was amazing. But this isn’t about amazing puppeteers this is about shitty unfunny puppeteers.
I used to work in a CD store and every goddamn day people would come in and ask for this clowns Cds or Dvds and every goddamn day i would have the same conversation with them in which they told me how totally hilarious he is and how everyone just loves him and in which i died a little inside over the fact that this terrible hack of a comedian was making money to spend on more awful puppets.
That’s another thing, How fucking racist are his characters? If you aren’t familiar with them here’s a brief rundown:
Here we have the puppet Bubba J. get it? He’s poor and a redneck and his name is Bubba J. Hilarious. Fucking terrible. Not only is this thing utterly terrible but it is also utterly terrifying. If this puppet came alive it would probably rape you, kill you and then drink all your beers and beat your dog for awhile before going out to look for some beef jerky. I truly enjoy the fact that it’s supposed to be a redneck idiot but it’s wearing a USA shirt. Something tells me the irony is lost on the audience judging by the fact that most of them are probably wearing that exact same shirt.
So this is Jose the Jalapeno. or as i like to call him: Racist caricatureof a Mexican on a stick. My favorite part is that it looks like its both drunk and stupid and I really appreciate the addition of the sombrero because I probably wouldn’t have understood that he was Mexican otherwise. Jackass.
And this is the most popular character in Jeffs arsenal of crap. Achmed the dead terrorist. I love his Turban because I enjoy my racial stereotypes to be glaringly obvious. might i add that he speaks in an Indian accent? get it? because all Indians are terrorists! oh my god that is hilarious! you know who would really enjoy this joke? totally ignorant idiots!
It takes a lot to offend me, but i mean jesus christ. how is this funny? It isn’t. The only reason this is acceptable to people is because it’s racist towards east Indians who apparently are the only terrorists in the entire world according to jerkoff retards in the US. since, you know, no terrorist attacks happen in say Ireland, or Africa or really any other place in the world. Fuck. Anyways, this abominations catchphrases include “I kill you” and “silence you infidel” oh man, I’ve gotta tell you guys my stomach hurts from laughing so much!
Oh wait, that’s my soul trying to leave my body. It honestly makes me sick that this guy has mainstream popularity and i think its because I don’t want to come to terms with the fact that someone is actually choosing to spend time and money watching this.
Oh right, There’s also an old man puppet and some purple thing but I’m too lazy to give a happy gay shit about it.
So now its come to the part of the article where i watch some of this and let you guys know how it goes. well I found a clip on youtube that is 10 goddamn minutes long but I’m going to try and muscle through it. wish me luck.
Any hopes of me laughing were dashed by the fact that this video has received over 90 million views. Why is this assclown getting 90 million views while Stella got canceled after one season?? fuck.
so the first few minutes of this video are spent by this puppet saying silence to the audience and rolling his eyes around. WHAT THE FUCK. seriously! this is brutal, he just keeps saying i kill you in a funny voice and people are shitting their pants. Oh apparently Achmed is a suicide bomber. wow. I really want a soylent green sort of situation to happen, only instead of Charlton Heston yelling “SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!!” someone stands up in the audience and screams “THIS ISN’T FUNNY AT ALL DON’T YOU GET IT!!!” but people just keep laughing. The Horror.
Well I got about 3 minutes in but i really couldn’t do it anymore. I honestly don’t understand why anyone is willing to sit and watch this.
So as i was writing this i stumbled upon a lesser known Jeff dunham creation:
That would be a pimp named sweet daddy dee. Is this guy for real? How goddamn racist can you get with a comedy act that is mainly comprised of puppets??? I’m honestly shocked at this and i watched 2 girls 1 cup without gagging. (i also put that on my resume under special skills)
This is just wrong on so many levels and I’m beginning to think this guy is a serious racist who may or may not own several confederate flags. that is simply here-say but feel free to spread that around. I mean, there are ways to approach racial stereotypes in comedy and most talented comedians will do it in a very tongue in cheek way. Jeff’s tongue is no where near his cheek, in fact it’s helping to propel spit forward out of his mouth onto the grave of Rosa Parks.