Help fuel my drinking!

Hey guys, you know how I review shitty movies? of course you do. Well I want you guys to pick your favorite un intentionally bad movie  and I’ll pick my favorite choice and get wasted and review it. It’s really a win-win situation because I will suffer through a bad movie for your internet enjoyment and my liver gets to do what it does best: die slowly. So put on your thinking caps and leave me your choice in the comments!

HEY HEY WE HAVE A WEINER

Well after careful consideration I decided to totally M.Night you guys and choose THREE winners! Yes thats right. What a twist! You guys had some great suggestions except for those assholes who suggested the new xfiles movie because they clearly do not understand my rampant love for it. Also someone suggested Titanic which would be good but I get extreme Irish guilt for laughing at all the poor people drowning. Anyways the winners are:

Last House on the Left (remake obviously)

PeeWees Big Adventure

and…

House of the Dead by Uwe Boll. Technically “anything by Uwe Boll” was nominated but this is the only movie by that crazy asshole I can stomach what with the zombies and all.

I tried to get my hands on that amazing sounding Raptor Island movie that was nominated if only to be buried with it like a Pharaoh, but I couldn’t find it anywhere. Help a brother lady out if you have a torrent or whatnot.

Anyways now that I am home for the holidays I’ll get crackin on this ASAP as long as I don’t die from a bizarre rum and eggnog overdose (so cool) Thanks for all your suggestions!

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18 Responses to “Help fuel my drinking!”


  1. 2 steph December 6, 2009 at 5:37 pm

    last house on the left. that movie was both bad and disturbing

  2. 3 Autumn Night December 7, 2009 at 5:04 am

    Unbreakable, The X-Files: I want to believe (that I can get my two hours back somehow), P.S. I Love You…

  3. 4 Justin December 7, 2009 at 8:15 am

    Lol i totally agree with Last House on the left..It has it all, rape, murder..a rating of 14a (could’ve changed by now) really a good film

    but watch something ridiculous, like Final Destination, or a movie that you need to think and has a bunch of “Twists and turns” watch a M Knight Shama..shama..what ever the fuck movie. that’ll be hilarious, what with the drinking and all

  4. 5 George C December 7, 2009 at 9:58 am

    Raptor Island

    An island, full of raptors, and also there’s an alien with a jet pack. GO!

  5. 6 Jackie December 7, 2009 at 5:52 pm

    Van Helsing…

  6. 7 Sailer December 8, 2009 at 6:20 am

    Although you’ve seen them, here are two movies you need to review:

    1.) Black Sheep (not the Chris Farley version, the New Zealand homicidal sheep version)
    2.) The Room… obviously.

  7. 8 sniffits December 8, 2009 at 6:40 pm

    Anything by Uwe Boll

    really…anything…

  8. 9 Bryant December 9, 2009 at 8:15 am

    Pee Wee’s Big Adventure

  9. 10 Ian December 10, 2009 at 11:53 am

    Woah there Kobe, lay the hell off Peewee. That movie surely is not a “shitty movie”. Matrix 3 is ridiculous. x-men – wolverine origins sucked cause gambit was lame in it. oh that small soldiers movie about the toys that come to life? total turd.

  10. 11 cole December 12, 2009 at 11:37 am

    that movie larry the cable guy made, its so terrible the name escapes me where they go to iraq and it turns out to be mexico. That was god awful. That one always sticks out in my mind as the movie that disappointed me most. I should have had enough fair warning when larry the cable guy was starring.

  11. 13 mc December 12, 2009 at 7:47 pm

    death sentence! i cringe just thinking about it

  12. 14 leedsbadger December 16, 2009 at 8:42 am

    Mulholland Drive, although it will mean you have to sit through it.

    Orrrrr….

    The Matrix….

    Orrrrr….

    Fight Club.

    What a collection of shite.

    x

  13. 15 Ashli December 17, 2009 at 12:37 pm

    I say you do a Warwick Davis marathon, including, but not limited to;

    Leprechaun

    Willow

    Star Wars

    Labyrinth

    We both know there is two gems in there, but take your pickin’s.

    Also I have some archived emails from 2004 from you that I’m going to forward to you. I feel you could use them somehow on the blog.

  14. 16 Dyck December 18, 2009 at 8:26 pm

    I have a few:
    Strange Wilderness…no words can describe
    Four Christmases…probably the worst thing that I have ever seen
    The second Fast n the Furious.. just to see your take on Suki

    Also, I second that last X-Files film. What an absolutely foul piece of shit.


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