Hey jerks, remember awhile ago when I reviewed some truly awful pop culture related tattoos? well guess what, I had barely scratched the surface and it’s time to check out some really, really bad tattoos. As a special treat I’m going to show each of these tattoos to my sometimes pop culture clueless boyfriend to see if he can determine what exactly is going on. So let’s get this show on the road and see whats up first
GAH! HOLY SHIT. This tattoo is technically done very well but it’s morally so awful I can’t stand to look at it. I’m concerned about what R2-D2 is up to down there because as far as I remember he didn’t have a sex toy stuck on his face so as far as I can tell Leia just sort of sat on him and he started squirming around making that whistling noise he does only I would imagine it would be muffled by Leia’s comically huge “booty” That being said, can we talk about how huge Leia’s boobies are? Jesus Christ. No wonder both her brother and Han wanted a piece of that. I think I should email this to Carrie Fisher and really mess up her world.
Matt’s response: “what is that…a turtle? is that Princess Leia sitting on a turtle shell?”
Yikes. So this bad boy has been floating around the internet for quite some time so my eyes already knew what was about to rape them. If you haven’t seen this already then feel free to hug your loved ones at this time. Unlike the last one, this is both technically awful and ethically wrong. It seems like it was made by several tattoo artists all who were probably drunk. My favorite part is the banner at the top that says STAR WARS like we wouldn’t already be tipped off to that fact with the gigantic Darth Vader staring back at us from in between white heads. I personally think any Star Wars tattoo that doesn’t feature Han Solo is an instant flop so this one gets no sympathy. Also, is that a man or a woman’s back? Think about it and then hug your loved ones again.
Matt’s response: “Who’s next to Jabba? I don’t get it…Where’s Luke? It looks like Boba Fett’s gun is shooting freckles.”
This one is really just the best of all because if anyone ever asked this guy was ever at a party and someone asked what his interests are he could just rip off his shirt and point to his back. That previous scenario was based on the fact he would actually be wearing a shirt to begin with, which is probably not the case. So this proud American clearly loves his daughter, star wars and AMERICA!!!!11. The weirdest part is the American flag inside of the Ankh which is actually as opposite of American as you can pretty much get. Maybe he loves Egypt? Probably not. I get the feeling while he was getting this done he was thinking to himself “hmm maybe I should put a list down at the bottom so people truly understand what this sweet tat is all about”
Matt’s response: “oh..that’s no good. Who’s Courtney?”
Ah the whole gang is here, united as one on some losers back. I feel really bad for Picard because he didn’t get a neck like the rest of them and he looks pretty pissed about it. Data on the other hand looks like he’s about to barf and/or has down syndrome. Jesus. To be honest as a woman I could probably handle a tattoo of the Star Trek insignia or one of the ship but once you get into full back tattoo country then I’m afraid you are going to be alone for the rest of your life unless you knocked up your highschool girlfriend Darlene and you both struggle to make ends meet while she goes to community college to get her G.E.D. and you wash floors at the stadium after hours. I’m pretty sure I just summed up this guys entire life.
Matt’s response: “Data looks sad.”
Now this one is a bit tricky but to help you out, here’s a photo of the two people it is actually supposed to look like:
feel free to scroll up and down between the two photos while laughing. I’ll wait. I had a hard time believing there would be a lot of Supernatural related tattoos but once again, the internet has proven me wrong.
So yea, someone really dropped the ball on this one and I can’t decide if it’s the tattoo artist or the person who decided to get a tattoo of two men she has never met tattooed on her body. I showed this to my friend Jenna and she thought it was of Corey Feldman and Corey Haim. I personally think it looks like a guy holding in a fart and an older version of chunk from The Goonies. Either way, this is just fucking awful and the only positive thing I can think of to come out of this is that the tattoo looks so far from who it’s supposed to be that the girl can claim its her dead friends or something 20 years down the road when she forgets about Supernatural all together.
Matt’s response: “Who is it? is it from Twilight or whatever? Is it that other guy from Twilight and the main guy? is it Harry Potter?”
We’ve all seen our fair share of tattoos that are things ripping through the skin to reveal robot parts or lizard skin or some shit, but this one really takes the cake. Am I supposed to believe that Wolverine is a tiny man living in this guys skin and has to rip his way out? Jesus, Why not just get a tattoo of Wolverine just hanging out being bad ass on your skin? why did you have to go and get this tattoo that makes no sense at all? God I hate this guy and I don’t even know him. Wolverine looks pretty pissed though, doesn’t he? Fuck I hate these kinds of tattoo almost as much as I hate tribal tattoos. Imagine if someone got a ripped skin tattoo and underneath it was tribal tattoos? I bet that exists. God I hate everyone.
Matt’s response: “I thought Wolverine had a yellow suit. This is all wrong”
Now some of you might not know my feelings about Avatar, which is that it was an alright to mediocre plot with very good special effects. I do not think this warrants a good movie, and it especially doesn’t warrant this fucking tattoo. This movie hasn’t even gone to DVD yet and some asshole decided to get the chick from it on his arm? Congrats buddy you have a blue fish looking cat monster on your arm forever. God damn it. It is technically very well executed which is surprising because I’m sure the tattoo artist wanted to punch his client in the face for getting such a retarded tattoo in the first place. I’m going to go out on a limb and assume the person who has this tattoo is a furry.
Matt’s response: “I don’t get why you hate that movie so much, it was good. This tattoo is bad”
****BONUS DUCHOVNY IN DRAG TATTOO****
I nearly choked on my sandwich when I saw this bad boy (and yes I eat sandwiches infront of the computer) David Duchovny had a bit part in Twin Peaks as a cross dressing cop in like 1990, and apparently this person decided to immortalize that with this baffling tattoo. It looks exactly like David Duchovny would as a woman so I say hats off to the tattoo artist. My mind is utterly blown at the fact that this exists. Someone said to themselves “you know what my body needs? Permanent ink in the shape of David Duchovny dressed as a woman” I don’t even think this belongs in a worst tattoo post, this belongs in the best tattoo idea of all time post. I can’t stop looking at it, it’s so amazing!
Matt’s response: “Is that Mulder or Ashton Kutcher?”
So there you have it folks, even if you have a terrible tattoo at least you don’t have one of these tattoos…unless it’s the Duchovny in drag tattoo because let’s be honest, that is something we can all enjoy.