4 more horrifying places

I enjoyed writing and researching  googling the last article I wrote about weird places around the world so I decided to do another one because I do what I want and you aren’t the boss of me.

1.Doll Island

...I'm just going to go ahead and stay home. FOREVER.

My mom has this doll that she has had since she was a little girl, it sounds really sentimental but that thing is a nightmare. It’s called Chatty Cathy and it’s supposed to talk when you pull its string. The only problem is that since this thing is old as balls, when you pull the string a garbled mess that may or may not be a Chuthlu summoning spell comes out. It’s terrifying.

This is the whore I'm talking about.

I made the mistake of admitting that thing scared me and ever since then my parents have been telling me that it will come alive and murder me, or they will take it out and put it in various locations of the house. I don’t even live there anymore and they still do this. I’ll go over there and go to use their computer and BOOM Cathy’s just chilling out on the chair waiting for the sun to go down so she can come alive and kill me. So as you can imagine, this Island is like my nightmare and knowing my parents I’m sure they will buy me two tickets to this Island for my next birthday.

This Island is pretty much the creepy brainchild of a man who used to live there and was deeply upset when he found out a little girl he knew drowned on the Island. He then did what any sane person would do: leave various dolls for her ghost to play with. Sounds pretty legit to me. So after he died (now there is at least 2 ghosts hanging out on this island) other people took up his cause and kept dropping off dolls on the island, although I suspect a few of them we purposely leaving scary looking dolls to be funny. Assholes. Thus Doll Island, of Isla de la Munecas, was born. That’s another thing, Isla de la never ends with anything good, it’s always Isla de la Muerte, it’s never Isla de la burritos. COULD YOU IMAGINE??

ME GUSTA

Anyways, you can go visit this Island if you were so inclined. I am not so inclined. So here are some delightful and not nightmare inducing photos for you all to enjoy.

okie dokie.

I'll see myself out.

BLARGHHHHH

2. Carter Hotel

come to the wonderful Carter Hotel where helicopters constantly buzz the building apparently

 

Remember that scene in The Shining where Jack Nicholson makes out with that woman and she turns all gross and old? That has nothing to do with this, I just think it’s a really creepy scene.

haha look at his face! oooh I've been there man

This hotel doesn’t have naked gross ladies but it does have lots of weird shit in its history. You can still stay there but it has the reputation of the worst hotel in the USA. Basically what we have here is a hotel with straight up the worst luck ever. Here is a list of some fucked up shenanigans that have occurred there over the past years

-George R. Sanders committed suicide by jumping from the 14th floor of the hotel in 1931

-Olga Kibrick one upped George by jumping to her death from the 21st floor that same year

-James Fairbanks committed suicide in 1931  after embezzling money from his company

-Frederick Berry burned to death in 1941 after falling asleep smoking. In his room was a letter from his father telling him about a dream his mom had in which he died….so that’s neat/horrifying

Things stayed pretty quite until the 1980’s when a cop got shot to death on the fourth floor and someone beat their 23 month old to death.  After that the hotel was a homeless shelter and low income housing for the better part of the late 80’s and early 90’s

Finally things were looking up in 2007 when the hotel was back to a (somewhat) ok state and people were staying there again. And then a housekeeper found a dead body in plastic wrap.

I hope it was press n seal! that shit is nuts! you can make your own bags with it!!!

The hotel is (I presume) dead body free as of now but it has over 500 bad reviews on tripadvisor.com. Some of the reviews are pretty great and actually now that I think about it I would probably spend the night here on a dare or something, as long as I had some salt,some action figures, and some iron.  The Iron and Salt are for ghosts, the action figures are for playtime.

3. Mt Everest.

pictured: a fucking asshole

I know, not too creepy on its own but stick this in your pipe and smoke it: There’s around 120 dead bodies literally chilling out on this mountain.

Some of the bodies are from the 20’s and because it’s so damn cold up there they pretty much just freeze and don’t rot. I assume they look a lot like the chicken breast that was hanging out in the back of my freezer that I forgot about for several months. Only with more Northface gear on it.

Climbing Mount Everest could be the ultimate test of friendship for you and your BFF because on more than one occasion climbers have had to leave other climbers in distress because trying to help them would jeopardize their own safety. So if your buddy won’t split her Fresca with you in the middle of the summer, then maybe take a rain check on that whole “climbing a huge ass mountain together” idea.

"we're heading to the top, Later dickhead! have fun dying LOL LOL"

You would think that people would either A) stop climbing this frozen deathtrap or B) just fly to the top of the damn thing and lie to everyone that you climbed it. If I saw a picture of some guy standing on the top of the mountain with snow in his beard I would just assume he climbed the thing.

My friend Di has been watching a show about Everest and was regaling me with crazy ass stories of people climbing this thing and passing out or having limbs removed from frostbite or just straight up dying. I have got to say, now that I know how terribly dangerous this is, I would not at all be impressed if someone told me that they climbed this thing. I would be more impressed if they told me they didn’t climb it because then at least I know they have some goddamn sense. Keep this in mind single readers!! If on a date you want to impress someone, you cannot stress that you haven’t climbed Mount Everest enough.

So this mountain is on the list because there is no way it isn’t haunted. It’s like a goddamn ghost hulabaloo up there. If you were a ghost this has to be the worst place to be because the chances to haunt people is probably so few and far between. It’s sad if you think about it: A bunch of ghosts throwing cards into a ghost hat waiting for some climbers to show up. What a horrible (after)life.

4. Gotham City

holy shit this place sucks

I know it isn’t a real place (just in my heart!) but I really feel like I need to talk about this. Even as a small child I was always really confused as to why anyone would ever live in Gotham City. I assume if you lived there you would be caught in the middle of a bank heist at least twice a month. Even if you could somehow excuse the constant break outs from Arkham Asylum, there is no way you could live there and not be bummed out by the city itself. It looks like it was designed by a team composed of a moody 14 year old goth who has a new stepdad and a vampire from the 18th century. I’m sure the blueprints were written in blood and the room was lit with Victorian lanterns. GODDAMN.

"designing contemporary buildings in a bustling metropolis is the only thing that keeps me going, woe. woe."

I know what you’re thinking, but obviously Batman needs something to do and his whole mission is to clean up the city so no more rich people get capped in back alleys. Yes, I understand that, but he rarely leaves Gotham City so that means all this shit is going down in one area. The X Men fight villains all over the place, one time they even went to space and another time they went to a weird jungle island that had dinosaurs on it (fucking awesome!) Batman stops the scarecrow from blowing up a schoolbus and then drives four blocks to thwart Catwomans plot to rob the museum. It’s too much! I know Spiderman mainly did all his web slinging in New York but then again there was once a Spiderman plotline about Dr. Octopus marrying Aunt May so clearly the radius of crime isn’t the only thing on Spidermans plate. So I feel this deserves to be on the list, even though I guess I should probably take a closer look at myself because I’m comparing a mountain that people have actually died on to a fictional city that a comic book character lives in. I’m a mess.

JUST MARRY THE GUY YOU OLD BITCH. HE'S GOT MONEY

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