Hate mail round up!!

It’s that time again! I rounded up all my hatemail for us to make fun of. You would think that eventually the fact that most of the comments I get on this site are full of hate would deter me from writing this thing, but jokes on you motherfuckers! I have actually never been upset by a comment on this site, apparently I’m immune to cyberbullying. I would be like the toughest bitch in highschool right now!

So lets check out these little nuggets of gold!

 

I’m going to start with the latest one, and the most I guess, hateful one. Remember when I made fun of Ultimate Frisbee in like 2009? apparently this guy does because he is FUCKING PISSED ABOUT IT.

Original Poster:

“haha she obviously put ultimate on here because she’s too horizontally challenged to play it herself.. why dont you get your fat ass off the internet and maybe do something physical once in a while instead of writing some ridiculous blog that nobody cares about.

P.S. you’re a fat whore.”

 

Ahhh warms my heart. I love how it was like an afterthought to call me a fat whore. He rushed back to the computer to hit cancel on his reply button to add that gem. I also said it’s a “he” because clearly only a fucking douchebag would write that because it’s a kneejerk reaction when a woman disagrees with you to call her a fat whore.

Rig’s response:

Whoa whoa whoa guy! First of all: you missed a really great chance to work “horizontally challenged” and calling me a whore into a joke. Second of all: obviously some people care about my blog. Like you for instance. You cared enough to read it, and then comment on it. Thanks for the page view! I do it all for the readers.

Now this last part is very important. I think Ultimate Frisbee is stupid and mock worthy, you obviously feel differently. But instead of putting your thoughts into an eloquent, well thought out statement, you decided to call me not only fat, but also a whore. This perplexes me. I wasn’t aware that we knew each other on a personal level, or more likely that you made friends with a Bizarro version of me who is both fat and a whore.

I obviously have no problem with people having opinions online, since I have this blog and I make my opinions on it. I do have a problem with people like you. People like you are not funny. You can be mean and funny (It works for most comedians) and you can be mean and not funny. (that’s you!!) Instead of say, throwing back a barb my way about how my opinion on this sport is different than yours you decided to hit low and call me a fat whore.

I would like to know the thought process of this. I feel like I can picture you, hammering away on your keyboard “hmmmm she made fun of a sport I like! I KNOW! I’ll call her a fat whore despite the fact that I know nothing about her physical abilities, her weight or the amount of sexual partners she has had! mwahahah! I’m so clever and have lots of friends!!!” People like you ruin the internet for the rest of us. Good day to you sir!

P.S- Ultimate Frisbee is still for stupid fucking hippies. YOU FAT WHORE. (zing!!)

Still dumb as hell.

Now this next one took a different approach in being as insane as possible. They are apparently very upset that I said I love Jason Statham (I totally do)

Original Poster:

First i will like to say that you have to meet Jason Statham to love in him.He is hot?YES!But is he a stupid ???Or nervous???Or does he have some disease,you have to think about that.Because no one are not perfect as well Jason Statham.So please meet him and than tell me do you steel love Jason Statham or not…??I think that you will say NO!We don`t know anything or just we don`t know enough him.So meet him,and than put comments on this site.Oh and if you don`t interesting is he are smart,fat,does he have disease..nothing???If you just like him(fisical state)than you are bitch.Sure!No love just to be “Beautiful”,oh god what stupid people exist in are world….!!!!

Yea. I have no idea either.

Rig’s Response:

I read this 4 times and not only do I still have no idea what you are trying to say, but I think I got cancer.

I’m going to try and tackle this. “Is he a stupid???” I would imagine he’s not that dumb, since he is a grown man and I once saw a picture of him driving a car so I guess he at least has his licence, you have to be somewhat smart to get that. “or nervous???” He probably gets nervous from time to time, yes. “does he have some disease” That I don’t know. I would be willing to find out though (wink wink…wait, that doesn’t make sense)

I fucking WISH I could meet him and then put comments on this site!

So do I “steel” love him? Yea. D’uh. I have eyes don’t I?

I STEEL LOVE YOU JASON!

 

This next one was in response to a real throwback from 2009, when I wrote about the seven deadly sins and how many times I’ve broken them. It’s pretty long and old, but I thought it was pretty funny. This guy didn’t though.

Original Poster:

i feel sorry for whoever has the time to write all this, and who actually thought it was important enough to write, and that people actually care.
their life must be horrible.

The best part of this one is that he put a link to his facebook in the email section to leave the comment. What a fucking idiot! so yea. If you’re reading this. I totally saw your Facebook.

Rig’s response:

hey Jack. Thanks for the comment. I love hearing feedback! also, thank you for feeling sorry for me for writing all of that! And my life IS horrible. It’s really horrible right now because I just got a comment on my blog from a little shithead named Jack who thinks it’s pertinent to point out how terrible I am. It’s been pretty rough!

This next one was from my blog making fun of Jeff Dunham. Remember that guy? he was around for like a year in 2007? He might still be a thing, I hope not.

Original Poster:

omg u people need to get a life he is funny yeah he may be a bit racist but not as much as many of the people out there i think he is funny and people are entitled to their own opinion and honestly i think its sad that you put up a website about how much you dont like jeffs work GROW UP X

I decided to not point out the hypocrisy of this person telling me that people are entitled to their own opinion, but then in the same breath told me my opinion was wrong. I went a different route.

Rig’s response:

What do you mean “you people”???

 

And the last one I have for you today is from my favourite sub section of humans. A JUGGALO!!

Original Poster:

Waitwhat? You’re ‘enraged’ because that blonde on the left has a better body than you? For christ’s sake, the psycho bitch has a better body than you! And i’m not even trolling =/

It really blows my mind when people can’t think of a way to insult someone so they just settle with “they are fat” I am not fat. The thing that upset me the most about this one was that this was the photo in question:

 

That girl on the left does have a better body than me. She’s skinny as hell! I will somehow move on with my life knowing that this girl, along with literally millions of other girls have a skinnier body than me. The “pyscho bitch” in question who also apparently has a better body than me:

 

Fact: I have a much better body than that person. I’m talking inside and out. I’m sure my lungs are much pinker and I can run several city blocks without passing out. Anyways, I don’t know if that guys comment was supposed to harm my self esteem or what, but it falls pretty short considering this person has never set eyes on me.

Rig’s response:

wait, what? are you calling me fat? my childs size medium novelty Harry Potter T-Shirt begs to differ good sir! D- for trolling efforts, especially since you added that insufferable sideways sad face.

 

So that is it for now guys! but I’m sure more hatemail is just around the corner because people fucking hate me. Wah wahhhhh

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3 Responses to “Hate mail round up!!”


  1. 1 briannesheppard August 16, 2012 at 6:18 am

    Ah, this is amazing.. I kind of feel like anonymously posting some hate mail just to get your written reply.

  2. 2 Amy August 20, 2012 at 3:09 pm

    I think we need to find out what country Statham’s #1 (or not; I couldn’t tell) fan hails from. English should hopefully be on its secondary level curriculum yo.

  3. 3 Harry August 27, 2012 at 4:30 pm

    Nice stuff! Remember, if you don’t get hate mail, you’re not being honest.


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