As you all hopefully noticed, I haven’t been updating lately. It isn’t because I’ve been in a shallow grave in the Nevada Desert or because I perished in a cheesecake eating competition, it is something much lamer. My retarded cat decided to be an asshole and chew up my laptop cord so it is currently dead and until I get my replacement cord in the mail (God bless you Ebay) I can’t get to any of the posts I have saved on there. I selfishly used up the last of the battery power to watch a Rifftrax of Batman and Robin. I will not be shamed by that though because it was fucking hilarious.
Hopefully my lifeline will arrive in the mail and let’s all cross our fingers that it isn’t made of Taiwanese cardboard. I also beat my cat mercilessly for his folly, because apparently the catnip filled toy mouse that I dropped 6 freaking dollars on isn’t good enough for his royal highness and he has to go get his jollies chewing on electrical cords. What a sick bitch.
So I will see all you jerks soon with such riveting content as:
-my review of The Super Mario Bros. movie (finally)
-Another drunken tale from my trip to Mexico
-a review of Drive Angry. THATS RIGHT I WENT AND SAW A NICOLAS CAGE MOVIE JUST FOR YOU GUYS. See how much I give? I’m such a wonderful person.